The Epitome of Efficiency

I learned the word epitome in November and wanted to use it in the title—though the content might be irrelevant.

Efficiency has always been a top priority in my life. I value efficiency above all else, even over things like…

Eating sangas while walking Django instead of sitting down at a dining table with proper cutlery and plates, which would only create more work later (i.e., loading the dishwasher, which takes me days unless it’s summer). Eating—the most mundane, tedious, and pointless activity. It makes you fat, causes inflammation, leads to breakouts, and worst of all, I already know how everything tastes. I eat solely to avoid hunger. I hate spending $$$ on dining out, wearing nice shoes and disappoint. What about waiting for UberEats drivers who always have other stops before me. What’s worse, Eating alone? I also hate the endless cycle of “What’s for dinner tonight? And tomorrow?”

Doing yoga while learning French: I did Downdog™’s November yoga challenge for a free t-shirt. They promised a t-shirt with their logo on it(which i think it’s cute) if I completed 30 days of yoga without skipping, but turns out it was a raffle—only the lucky ones get the shirt. Kek what an inefficiency. I don’t even know how I used to do hot yoga vinyasa every day back in the day. It’s so boring and I only do Yin these days, while I’m doing pigeon or lizard pose, I streak another day on Duolingo. Most of the time, Django brings a ball and demands I throw it, so I’m fully occupied even during yoga.

As of today (13/12/2024), my Duolingo™ streak is 296 days.

I also force L to be efficient. For example, I ask him to pick me up from work with Django, so he can save his treadmill time, exercise Django, and pick me up—all at the same time! Or I don’t take clothes out of the dryer to fold and put them away because I’m going to wear them sooner or later anyway. Sometimes, I even pee while showering—and listen to podcasts at the same time. But are these podcasts motivational or meaningful? Nope. The last one was about a woman who had sex with 100 men in one day (14 hours straight!). Wow, how efficient, If I’m able to do two things or multiple things at once, I’ll do that.

You’ve probably heard the hypothetical scenario: If there’s a $50 note on the ground, Bill Gates or Elon Musk shouldn’t bother picking it up because their time is more valuable. Tony Park (one of my exes from around 2015ish, who texted me in late 2023 to say, “Hi, I got married, but can we have sex UwU”) often shouted, “Time is money!”

But here’s the thing after all: I’m doing X while doing Y and Z not because to save time for something more valuable. I don’t have anything better to do.

After watching young Koreans (mostly not-so-good-looking females) protesting in freezing temperatures, spending their time shouting meaninglessly while holding animal-shaped neon lights and wearing bunny-ear hats, I wonder if anyone really lives efficiently. At this point, what does efficiency even mean if there’s no urgency or importance in life?

Oh, and I also learned the word regurgitate, but I didn’t use it here. ㅋㅋㅋ I couldn’t, except maybe to regurgitate the use of “epitome.”