Fertilisation Journal – March

My period just started this morning, and I failed again. This time, I kind of expected failure already since I had none of the fake symptoms that I experienced last time, such as bloating. If you remember, for the last two years, I only drank Diet Coke or taro milk tea instead of clear water just to challenge my liver and see how long it would last, but I survived. I just had dry skin and chronic constipation. L clicked his tongue in annoyance and bought an $80 water bottle to motivate me to drink clear water, and I think money works. I started drinking, and the bloating and constipation went away so easily; wowzy I didn’t expect this.

At this point, I have a pseudo-gynecological degree issued by Google and Naver.com. Based on my degree, our failure points are that I trusted and relied on the Flo™ too much. I’ve been using this app for so long just to track my bleeding date because it always gave me an accurate date with an error margin of plus or minus a day or two. Since my bleeding cycle is so regular, I expected my ovulation date to be too. However, I might be wrong. Flo™ always tells me day 14 as the ovulation date, but my last cycle was 35 days. It could mean I ovulated on day 20 instead of day 14, or possibly I egged randomly. I live such an unhealthy lifestyle, and I don’t know how I overestimated myself to lay an egg in such regular time manner. Nevertheless, Flo™ gave me the expected ovulation date on day 14 for this cycle again.

I had mild cramps with egg-white stretchy cervical mucus (aka pu$$y juice) on the morning of March 21st (which is day 10). So, I thought, “Hmm, isn’t it too early?” And I noted, L was still overseas at that time, so too bad; we had sex every day until the day L left last week and crampie-d from day 12 to 19 . So, I don’t freaking know what’s wrong. Either I laid egg too early, randomly like last cycle (day 20), or didn’t egg at all.

According to my pseudo-gynecological degree, I’ll have to follow a few things for the next cycle (skipping April because L’s not here) instead of relying on Flo™. While I was typing this, Flo™ was desperate and offered me a premium subscription ㅋㅋㅋ.

First, check the resting body temperature every morning before getting out of the bed. Before my degree from Google and Naver.com, I thought humans only had a temperature of 37.5 degrees, and if it was more than that, it meant sickness. But in fact, some thermometers(I bought one today!) can measure and display two decimal places and can help me make a chart like this:

I think this is by far the most reliable source, even though it’s a bit of a pain in the ass. I’ve heard of ovulation tester strips too, but they only check LH levels, and even if I witness an LH surge, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll egg. LH surges right before ovulation, but it doesn’t guarantee it. What if I don’t egg at all? In conclusion, body temperature and pu$$y juice should be checked every morning and documented promptly. I’m pretty convinced that I ovulated before L was here. If not, who knows… my degree from TikTok taught me that the chances would be around the same if I had sex every 2-3 days throughout my cycle instead of sex every day and creampie for a week. But isn’t it more problematic if you can’t have sex every day, especially if you’re a new couple?