Unlike me, L plans everything ahead most of the time. You know how Uber drivers help passengers load their luggage into their boots? Last time, a young Chinese boy with a Tesla SUV didn’t even come out of his sleek SUV. I had two big, heavy Rimowas, and I had just got my nails done the day before. I almost broke my fuck you fingernail carrying those. Imagine how it would have ruined my entire trip if it had really ripped my nail. It’s not compulsory, and they have the right not to, I guess. So, on the way to the airport, I messaged L to give him a negative star since he booked the Uber 3-4 days before the day. Somehow, the Chinese young man helped me unload my big-ass luggage when we arrived. I thought he only did it because he was worried I’d scratch his sex Tesla SUV’s bum (I made some noises unwillingly when I put them in).
L booked me Ubers thorough when I was alone in Dubai for a 19-hour layover1. When I came back from Dubai Mall to the hotel I stayed at, the driver, a Pakistani man who was very happy with his recent purchase – the Tesla 3 2024 (he said it’s only a month old, and it’s not even released in the US yet, but UAE first? Or Dubai first? I forgot2.). The driver somehow was suspiciously nice to me. He opened the door for me like an Uber Black, checking if the temperature is alright. Since I’m a lizard, you know they die if it’s too hot or too cold. The borderline between comfy temperature and death temperature is so thin that a slight temperature change may be able to kill their entire family or something, I believe. Though I think they have their own system to control their body temperature; look at blueys, they thrive in 40 degrees or even more, Australia things are wild. Anyway, the room temperature or body temperature bother me a lot. I move too much while I’m at home to turn the AC on and off. For the detailed arrangement, I use Dyson Air Purifier™, which I don’t even know if it really filters the air in my place.
But, how does the Tesla 3 2024 enthusiast Pakistani Uber driver know I’m a lizard? I felt suss. I said, ‘It’s perfect, I love it, thank you.’ Then he goes, ‘Is L your mum? She’s very worried about you.’ (L’s legal first name can sound like a female name for some.) So I answered back, ‘Ha ha, no, he is my boyfriend.’ He then said how L was worried and overly protective, so he thought I’m his underage daughter or something and so on, but he suddenly goes, ‘Oh wow! Look at that!’ I thought this Tesla 3 2024 enthusiast Pakistani Uber driver must doom-scrolling too much like I do and have a focus deficit problem, and I looked at what he looked at – the road, where we were.
Crazy! A month ago, when I was in Dubai for the first time, the hotel we stayed in to the devious3 Dubai Mall, it took less than 20 minutes. All major hotels are close enough to the mall, and I expected the same this time. I think it took about an hour or so this time. The road was packed with cars, and the entry of the mall to drop-off zone wasn’t moving for a long time. The African driver who dropped me off at the mall said it’s going to be like this until the 2nd of January, so keep in mind and let’s not go to Dubai on its peak time. It’s horrendous.
So, I looked at the road and thought, this Tesla 3 2024 enthusiast Pakistani Uber driver is surprised because traffic jam is horrible, I said, ‘Yeah, it’s craaazy. Where are they going at this time?’ It was around 10 pm, and I was shocked before at the mall already because even Kinokuniya™ at the Dubai Mall opens till 11 pm. Imagine the bookstore, and it’s three times bigger than the one in Sydney! Open until late! I came three times without rubbing my belly button because 1. It opens until late 2. Its size 3. The variety of stationary and books, and you know what, Sephora™; they’re open until midnight. Yes, you heard it right, midnight makeup shopping is real. For the first time, I thought Dubai has a lot more to offer than Sydney does. (Only because Kinokiniya and Sephora) In Sydney, most shops close at 5 pm at max unless it’s Thursday or it’s Korean-owned. You can’t get a cup of coffee from a decent coffee shop after 3 pm, considering you work until 5 pm, maybe even 6 pm. You get home by 7, have a shower, walk the dog, eat dinner, and there’s not many things left you can do. Because you gotta sleep for the next day. I was convinced before by wholesome people, say it’s good because they can spend more time with their families and the blue sky, blue ocean, greens, snakes, spiders, bushes, and magic mushrooms, all that. But considering what you can buy here and in any other cities (e.g., a 4-million-dollar house in Strathfield), makes Sydney look like a huge retirement village. And the weather (and the mosquitoes attack) these days made me want to get out of here asap.
The Tesla 3 2024 enthusiast Pakistani Uber driver said, ‘No, look at the Tesla in front of us.’
Only then did I begin to come to myself and realize I looked. There was another Tesla but maybe a darker colour. I couldn’t even tell; it was 10 pm, remember? He manically kept talking. It’s not just another Tesla! It’s Tesla 2024, which is released only this month. It’s a… a… I said, ‘Purple!’ He said, ‘No ma’am! It’s… it’s what’s called? Maroon! Maroon colour!’ I had to react like I’m excited too. He was that inflamed. ‘Do you like? No? What do you think? I DO love the colour. Oh man, how beautiful car and colour… I love it. I wish I chose that colour instead of just plain white.’ I pretended like I like the colour too, even though I had no such preference and I couldn’t even see the colour properly. We then talked about Dubai or UAE government and Pakistani immigrants and such. He claimed that the majority of Tesla Uber drivers in Dubai are Pakistani. I said, ‘Oh, that’s interesting’ I told L to give him 5 stars after he dropped me off at the hotel.
- If you layover for more than a certain number of hours in Dubai, and that’s your best option, Emirates offers ‘Dubai Connect,’ which includes a hotel, meals, shuttle bus to the hotel, etc. ↩︎
- I wrote this at the end of December 2023 ↩︎
- I call it devious because for the first few hours you can enjoy food, shopping, whatever you want. But when you want to finally go home and grab a taxi, you have to be a maze runner. There are several Uber pickup points, and if you can’t communicate well with the driver, you can waste a lot of time looking for drivers and the right pickup point. Don’t forget P4 Fashion Avenue if you’re going to book an Uber, if normal taxi: P3 ↩︎
