It’s easier to write when I have specific things in my head, but for the past few days, my headspace hasn’t been very organized, and I blame it on hormones. Being a woman is hard. From mowing armpits, legs, and private parts to maintaining clean nails, eyelashes, and a good smell… and what about that time of the month?
The worst part isn’t even the bleeding every month; that’s only 5 days a month. The worst thing that can happen to a woman is the 2 weeks right before her actual period. (*trigger warning: ⚠️ the following paragraph may sound like complaining girlfriend. Some people may find disturbing, so you can skip this part if you prefer.)
Physically, I felt like an ogre because:
- I have some breakouts around my lips and chin.
- I felt bloated; in other words, I looked fat. To add to that,
- I was constantly hungry and craving sugar, which was directly related to the inflammation (resulting in breakouts and chronic hip pain).
- Eczema flared up in random parts of my body for reasons I couldn’t fathom. The immune department goes on strike or something,
- I had migraines, insomnia, and a UTI…
Mentally:
- I struggled with body dysmorphia. I wanted to smash the mirror when I saw all those physical attributes I mentioned earlier. I couldn’t help but hate myself even more.
- I felt hyperneurotic, sensitive, and judgmental due to overthinking. I think all my cardio consists of either sex or overthinking. It’s getting worse with age. I don’t know whether it’s nature’s punishment for not breeding even though I’m fertile, or if I just recognize it better now than ever because it’s been like this for ages.
FYI, google “Korea birth rate 2023” I find it hilarious. Don’t worry though; my cycle is pretty accurate, with a margin of error of +-2 days, and I’ll forget everything I was anxious about as soon as I start to bleed.
