I don’t know if it’s cursed laziness engraved in my bone marrow or if it’s a blessing that I’m not greedy, but either way, it’s been a while since I wrote something to grab the attention of the bored and horny guys.
Last month, I only worked a few days, and HR wanted to talk to me. I couldn’t work more than that, dealing with a million light-speed years of commuting and all, especially when I realized that some horny men can buy me a fancy dinner and stuff and it equals to the money i get paid for 8 hours. In fact, I don’t dislike my job; it’s rather mundane. The perks are pretty good working there(power of gov-job, so I don’t want to give it up, but at the same time, I asked my colleagues if there’s an online resignation form I can just fill out, submit, and disappear like BBQ smoke.
I’m still surviving, though not exactly thriving. I’m visiting my parents soon, so please consider contributing to getting gifts for them (I know it sounds a bit entitled). My dad enjoys trekking, so maybe a puffer jacket with some mountain gear from Macpac would be a great idea. My mom loves to socialize, so any luxury goods would work. If you have better souvenir ideas or access to staff discounts, please contact me. We don’t always have to have sex, you know. By the way, I don’t trust vitamins and minerals in the form of medication!
Whenever friends complain about being single and thus feeling lonely, like crying babies, I laugh and tell them, “You’re bored, not lonely.” But when I see people with a naturally sweet and beaming character, as if they were born with it, my heart races, almost like I’m choking myself. I wonder if it’s because I’m lonely, and my body reacts like a stray cat. I have some history of being bombarded by love-bombing (from their perspective, it’s just kindness, I guess) and misunderstanding their intentions, throwing tantrums like, “I thought you liked me, boo hoo.” Maybe… It’s just jealousy because I wasn’t born with a enticing personality or appearance, otherwise a great social skills. I may be extremely envious of those who seem to have it all, until my heart sinks and I confuse myself, wondering, “Wtf is this feeling?”
Real loneliness hit me so hard when I couldn’t open a pickle jar the other night. I felt powerless, worthless piece of female shit who always needs a man’s help. I tried many online methods to open the jar, including placing it upside down in a bowl of hot water, but it just wouldn’t budge. In the end, I broke the jar with a hammer and transfer it to another food container. It was pure violence and anger, no loneliness anymore when I look back. You see, you should do this too. Keep denying your true feelings and chant instead, “I’m not lonely! I’m just horny, bored, jealous, angry, and fearful!” It’s easier this way, trust me.
I’m a good listener, open to any subject, and not afraid of new ideas, so please help the proletariat. Thanks for reading, byeeee!
